The spring is a great time to clean out all of the junk that has been accumulating around us over the cold and nasty winter. Because I have been reading a bit too much philosophy recently I also see the potential to clean more than just the physical garbage, it is a great opportunity realign our practices with our philosophies. It is easier than it sounds and will only take a minute: Write down a list list things you enjoy, or even your "priorities" if you are so inclined. Then make a second list...your average daily schedule the past couple of weeks. As obvious as it may seem, how closely these lists relate is connected to how satisfied you are with your current situation. Make a couple of easy changes, and schedule some time to do the things that you really enjoy, otherwise you will spend all your time doing the things you have to do. Anyways, have a great week, I am heading off to read the newspaper in the great weather before going to class..."We are what we frequently do"
Some things that don't suck:
Silly Putty, I have not played with silly putty since I was probably 7 and I can still remember that it makes your hands smell very funny...But for some reason I was very excited to see that it can be purchased in 5 pound blobs. If it seems unnatural to have a gooey clay ball the size of your head sitting around, then you can also purchase a box of 100 plastic eggs to pack it in. I might even be able to use it for saving articles...when you press it to a newspaper it will pick up the ink, sweet.
"Last Lecture" of a College Professor, I was a little skeptical when I was emailed a link to an Oprah video, but after watching this I would say that it is definitely worth your time. No introduction would do the video justice, lets just say it is a lesson in advanced common sense.
Newseum, besides being a very cool interactive Museum in Washington, DC...the Newseum website has this awesome feature--a "news map"--literally a world map with little orange dots on it. When you place your mouse over one of the dots, the front page of the local newspaper in that area will show up. It is very interesting / entertaining to scroll around the US to see what different parts of the country find compelling.
Klean Kanteen's, they are sweet stainless steel water bottles, which unlike Nalgene will not atler your brain functions. I first read about these bottles a couple of weeks ago when looking into picking up some camping equipment, but my interest was re-sparked earlier in the week when I discovered that one of my coworkers has several--because his family is very plugged into the "green" scene--and they knew that Nalgene bottles were made with toxic chemicals. To add to the panic, Walmart is no longer carrying Nalgene, and Canada has banned their baby bottles.
Building a TANK, (note: this is the second time I have referenced homemade tanks...so if you want a fast track to being mentioned in my weekend update, build a tank) This tank is so awesome, in parts its cost is around $2000, it has a 360 degree turning turret--which fires golf balls and empty red bull cans powered by a scuba tank. The article has a video, so you can see this thing in motion.
$40 glasses, apparently the topic of discount eyeglasses is causing quite a bit of hysteria in the world of the optometry racket. Instead of paying $300 for your frames and the promise of another free frame a year from now(lens not included of course)...you can take the prescription--which you paid for--along with a couple of measurement and buy the very same frames for a fraction of the cost. Now instead of tolerating glasses that you do not like for years because you paid way to much for them, just get a new pair ever couple of months (lens included)!
Shut Up. I'm Talking, I have not read this book yet but it sounds great. It was written by a US intern working within the Israeli government as a speech writer. Besides voting on some UN resolutions and working Seinfeld references into important speeches, his memoir paints a vivid picture of a powerful government just as inept as ours. I cant wait to read it (my book list is getting pretty long).
Canada is our #1 source of oil, in case you haven't heard about it (I hadn't)...somebody predicted it in a NYTimes article written back in early April...of 1963. I was actually pretty surprised last week when I was watching a TV show about how they process the "Oil Sand" into crude oil and they mentioned how there is more oil in Alberta Canada than there is in the entire Middle East. Even though they have to bulldoze over thousands of acres of forest to get at it, at least the area is not war torn and unstable.
Sheep Shearing, With the cost of fuel at record highs, the migrant workers who usually spill into the Midwest to shear our sheep just aren't coming this year. There are two scenarios that could play out from this. #1 we do nothing--the sheep will be very hot this summer and we will be very cold next winter, or #2 we pick up some of those huge mean clippers, shave some lamb, and earn a little extra gas money.
Some things that do:
Buster isn't 101, remember the crazy old man who was all over the news for being the oldest guy to complete a marathon, it turns out that he is "a mere spring chicken of just 94" so the original record still stands (see: Dimitrion Yordanidis, aged 98). More than just that, Buster does not hold a candle to Edna Parker, who just turned 115!!!
Cougars in Chicago!!!, attn: Mayor Daley, new motto: "City in the Wild" Maybe the fear of being mauled to death by wild animals is a good things for Chicago. Citizens can bond and work together surviving their commutes rather than bitching about the CTA and pushing woman out of the way to get a seat on the train--thats right fat guy with a man purse, I saw you. Back to the point though, it sucks that instead of tranquilizing the animal, the Chicago police regressed back to their Ritalin and video game upbringing to unload their guns on a cornered animal and an innocent air conditioner.
When Cheerleaders Attack...and Dr. Phil posts bail, This story is crazy...it was sent to me last week, but I forgot to put it in. A couple of cheerleaders tricked a "friend" of theirs into coming over and they beat the hell out of her and videotaped it with the intention of putting it on YouTube. This was no normal cat fight, it was a brutal 6-on-1 beating. These girls deserve to go to jail, and like I mentioned before, the ambulance chaser Dr. Phil posted $30,000 bail in exchange for exclusive rights to the story.
I Slept through the EARTHQUAKE, this would not be an issue if I lived in California or something...I would just be sure to catch one next week. But because I am in Illinois I feel like I missed seeing Halley's Comet or something.
Until Next time,
-Chance Kelch
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