Chance's Weekend Update: 3/1/2009
"With a stop light, green means 'go' and yellow means 'slow down'. With a banana, however, it is quite the opposite. Yellow means 'go', green means 'whoa, slow down', and red means 'where the heck did you get that banana?'"
-Mitch Hedberg
I think I have used this quote before, but now that I am in a strange place (Texas) I see it in a new light. Things are different here--not their bananas--but definately their attitudes and their exit ramps. Both of which have caused problems for me. I have been late for several things by assuming that a quick question would warrant a quick response--when really any question calls for damn near a life story. I will admit though, the exit ramp thing is a little more my fault. Back home I am used to seeing the place I want to go, taking the next exit, and then standing on the break hoping not to slide off the road during the 180 degree tight turnaround. But here in Waco, if you can see your destination, then you probably missed your exit a mile ago--literally. Further, the "exit ramp" is more of a little access road that you can slide over to at full cruising speed. Armed with this knowledge (and free gas), I drive my rental car like I am Mario Andretti, and subsequently I have missed my mile-long exit the past three days in a row. In other news, I want to come home and Twitter is the new everything. If Facebook was the gateway drug will all its fancy apps and options, Twitter is straight to the point internet crack. I know that seven of you know what I am talking about, because after my last update you started following me (randomharrier), and for those who have not yet tried it, I hope you are having fun with your 8-tracks and board games. Anyways...
Some things that don't suck:
The most welcoming Starbucks on Earth, to be fair I have not been to every Starbucks on Earth--but I have had a white chocolate mocha in 4 different countries and over a dozen cities. For the most part, if you have been to one, you have been to all of them...so I was suprised more than once by how well orchastrated the greetings were in Waco Texas. On one occasion I walked in the door an the girl sweeping the floor said, "Hi, I'm Jessica. Welcome to Starbucks, what is your name?.....Well Chance, I hope you have a great day" Then after waiting in line a moment a different girl behind the counter said "Chance, what can I get you today?" While a bit upbeat for 7am, it was nice that they can make a shop half way across the country feel like home. I have now gone back to that store almost ten times, and I hope that if you every find yourself in Waco, Tx you will stop in too.The Rest of the Story, as far back as I can remember all activity in my house has halted at 7:30 am when Paul Harvey would come on the air. So it was only natural that now that I am in the car at that time of the morning, I hit the preset to jump over to 1290AM to take in some unconventional news spoken by either Paul Harvey himself, or more recently Jr. This past week at the age of 90 he passed away, leaving behind a 58 year radio legacy.
The sweetest thing to happen to hats--ever, Beard Head hats come in four styles (colors): Viking (yellow), Lumberjack (brown), Grandpa (grey), and Pirate (black). Unlike whereever you probably are right now, I don't need a coat to go outside, but if I did, I would probably want one of these too.
Things you couldn't get for a dollar yesterday, but you can today...like a Watt of solar power. While the manufacturing costs for most photovoltaic panels is still floating around $3/Watt, First Solar--the makers of film thin solar cells--announced that for the first time ever, their costs have dipped below the long thought impossible goal of $1/Watt. The good news is that this will make it much cheaper to install a grid tie-in system of renewable energy to your house. The bad news is that to be on par with conventional power they will need to hit $.65 / Watt.
"We are not in it to make money, but we probably won't lose much", a quote from this 1981 news report about a San Fransico Newspaper making itself available "online" via your telephone, TV set, and two hours of downloading.
Some things that do:
Getting your face eaten by a monkey. I am sure that you have heard about it, and maybe even listened to the 911 tape, it is pretty messed up. Something that I didn't know about chimps before last week was that "an average size chimpanzee and rip all of your limps off with very little effort--they are something like twenty times stronger than humans". For real though, this chimp could surf the internet, change the TV channel with a remote, drink wine from a tall stem glass, and rip a face off with very little warning.
Being a poser...aka e-cigarettes, I get it, you are addicted and when we hang out I have to wash all my cloths--no big deal, it is a fairly normal but fading trend. But to replace actual smoking with an toy cigarette that emits realistic (odorless) smoke and sprays aerosol nicotine into your lungs is super lame and borderline a borderline substance abuse activity.
Illinos Tax Hike, As if the Blago episodes weren't enough to tarnish Illinois...now we are all but chasing business out of the state with torches and pitchforks. If we are lucky, all of the other state will follow suit and business can be uniformly strangled otherwise we could see alot more big business flee. Why would they stay? they can't even buy favorable legislation anymore.
AIG, They dropped a sweet $61,000,000,000 loss the 4th quarter of 2008. Nice investment Uncle Sam.
Until Next time,
-Chance Kelch
