Chance's Weekend Update: 04/06/2008
Some things that don't suck:
Frank's Blog, not the kind old man next door that drives my dad insane, the Frank from my cross-country team. As you may, but probably did not notice, he commented on my update last weekend. Before that point I knew that he had a blog, but his actions triggered my curiosity, so I clicked around until I found it and then for the next twenty minutes or so I laughed my ass off. Check it out, you wont regret it.
Modern Products, Vintage Advertising, this was such a sweet idea. I am super into old things, and a huge geek...so this is really the best of both worlds for me. The first page is definitely all the best, but if you are already there you might as well click around some.
Pocket Memo Pads, this isn't even a link, I just changed the font color to blue. It is too simple, but also too perfect for a link. As another old school throw back--I have been carrying around a little 3x5 flip top notebook for the last two weeks. I make a lot of lists, but because I do not have a top hat like Honest Abe, I also lose a lot of lists. But with my new accessory, I have instant access to the lists of movies I want to see, books I want to read, things I need to do, items for my upcoming weekend update, and of course my favorite feature is my "words" page. As I am reading, I sometimes come across vocabulary that I am not familiar with. I used to just ignore it and move on, now I write it down, look it up, and try to work it into my vernacular. (write that down). All of that, and I didn't even need a $400 blackberry...I just needed a $.99 notebook.
Tours of Wrigley Field, for just $25 a person you can explore the Cubs clubhouse, press box, visitors clubhouse, bleachers, dugouts, on deck circles, mezzanine suites and security headquarters of the soon to be 2008 World Champions via a 90 minute tour of Wrigley. It sounds like a great time to me...even though it is a thinly veiled attempt to squeeze more money out of the fans to pay for the restoration.
Google Custom Time, "Be on time. Every Time." is the slogan for Google's new feature which allows users to change the 'sent time' of an email to lets say, 6 hours ago. Late papers, deadlines; no longer an issue:
April Fools!!! yeah they got me too. I thought it was a little bizarre, but I would never put it past Google to come up with something this sweet.
Photoshop Express, The best--and one of the most expensive--photo editing programs ever has just gone mobile. Thats right, you no longer have to go home to use your bootlegged copy of Photoshop to put your friend's face on someone else's body...you can do it online! Just upload your pictures and edit them. You can even host them from the site using a free account. Pretty Cool. Now that we have hard drives we can carry around on our key chains we don't need them anymore.
The Last Alarm Clock you will ever need, I am a sleepy person...worse than that, it is tough to wake me up. Sometimes my sleep schedule needs to be flexible, but my alarm clock is just so damn rigid...so I shut it off instead of changing the time--and I miss my noon class. crap. But not anymore, this "ninja alarm clock" has seven independent alarms (that means you can shut one off without wiping the rest out) as well as a variable nap alarm (1-120 minutes) and adjustable snooze.
The sky is not falling, this is one nice, positive, well researched, and informative article that floated to the top in a world of negative editorials. 2008 is not the next Great Depression, and technically it is not even a recession. Yes growth has flat-lined, but we have not even had a negative quarter yet and we need TWO before we should start dropping the R word. Also, the economist that wrote this article did a great job outlining why the Euro will probably never eclipse the Dollar on the world stage. Sorry Fox News.
R.E.M is coming to Chicago, so is M.I.A (my favorite female British rapper)...that last one was a link to a video...and so is this: R Kelly, Trapped in a Closet, this R Kelly song came about a long time ago and the video said "to be continued" at the end. I had no idea until this past week that he continued it 22 times!!! I watched them all and it was probably one of the most entertaining 60 minutes that I have had in recent history. Sorry in advance to your employer.
Some things that do:
3rd Graders Plotting Murder, this is insane. Back in the good old days when I was in 3rd grade most of our plots involved "Cooties," not hitting our teacher over the head with a blunt object, handcuffing her, and then ultimately knifing her. I apologize Georgia, but I am forced to file your state under "crazy" until such time that you redeem yourself.
Mayor Daley's Children's Museum Statement, if you have not yet heard, the city of Chicago wants to move the Children's Museum from its current high traffic spot on Navy Pier to the beautiful open span of greenery separating congested Michigan Ave and the tranquil lake front, Grant Park. Not to bring up old news or anything, but back in 1839, when the former Fort Dearborn became part of the townsite, the plat of the area east of Michigan Avenue south of Randolph was marked "Public ground. Forever to remain vacant of buildings." If you can get past the fact that the Mayor sounds like a bumbling idiot you will be able to see that he makes almost no case for overturning the Plan of the City, which has been closely following since its publication 99 years ago, except that he'd rather fight for a 5-year old rather than anything else...and we all know that 5 year olds hate parks...
Oak Lawn criminals follow the commodities market, noting the record high prices of metal, thieves have recently stolen at least 8 manhole covers--weighing in around 125lbs a piece--while it is still unknown where they are turning them in to scrap for cash, this prank is getting costly for taxpayers...but if I were a cop, I would probably check one of these places for a stack of man hole covers. On the flip side--if I were a criminal--I would be stealing catalytic converters, not manhole covers. Converters contain three of the most expensive metals at the moment--platinum at $2,000 an ounce, palladium at $450 an ounce, and rhodium, which sells at just less than $9,000 an ounce. You may need more tools, but it would be much more lucrative. Just a thought, and please don't try it, or tell anyone that I told you to.
Governor Recall, a riding the momentum of Gov. Blago's downward spiral into the abyss of bad statewide decisions, Rep. Jay Hoffman called out "Stop the Bullshit!" championing the bill (that passed) making it conceivable to revote for a replacement governor...i.e. California. I think this is a terrible idea--mostly due to cost--but also because at least with all eyes on Gov. Looks-like-a-chipmunk, he wont do anything else stupid...whereas a replacement might feel the need to make all kinds of changes without thinking them through.
Until Next time,
-Chance Kelch
Last week was a rough one for news. In fact, I believe the only articles that I actually cited are negative stories. That is really too bad...on a positive note though, I found a decent amount of other things that are awesome. On top of that I am trying my best to keep the newsletter short, but sometimes I still get too excited and start linking things like crazy. I haven't gotten any complaints yet, and as far as I know people are still reading this, but I figure that if I draw things out too long you may lose interest. Anyways, it is way too nice outside to write anything more. Have a great week!"All right, they're on our left, they're on our right, they're in front of us, they're behind us... they can't get away this time"
- Lieutenant General Lewis B."Chesty" Puller (when surrounded by 8 enemy divisions)
Some things that don't suck:
Frank's Blog, not the kind old man next door that drives my dad insane, the Frank from my cross-country team. As you may, but probably did not notice, he commented on my update last weekend. Before that point I knew that he had a blog, but his actions triggered my curiosity, so I clicked around until I found it and then for the next twenty minutes or so I laughed my ass off. Check it out, you wont regret it.
Modern Products, Vintage Advertising, this was such a sweet idea. I am super into old things, and a huge geek...so this is really the best of both worlds for me. The first page is definitely all the best, but if you are already there you might as well click around some.
Pocket Memo Pads, this isn't even a link, I just changed the font color to blue. It is too simple, but also too perfect for a link. As another old school throw back--I have been carrying around a little 3x5 flip top notebook for the last two weeks. I make a lot of lists, but because I do not have a top hat like Honest Abe, I also lose a lot of lists. But with my new accessory, I have instant access to the lists of movies I want to see, books I want to read, things I need to do, items for my upcoming weekend update, and of course my favorite feature is my "words" page. As I am reading, I sometimes come across vocabulary that I am not familiar with. I used to just ignore it and move on, now I write it down, look it up, and try to work it into my vernacular. (write that down). All of that, and I didn't even need a $400 blackberry...I just needed a $.99 notebook.
Tours of Wrigley Field, for just $25 a person you can explore the Cubs clubhouse, press box, visitors clubhouse, bleachers, dugouts, on deck circles, mezzanine suites and security headquarters of the soon to be 2008 World Champions via a 90 minute tour of Wrigley. It sounds like a great time to me...even though it is a thinly veiled attempt to squeeze more money out of the fans to pay for the restoration.
Google Custom Time, "Be on time. Every Time." is the slogan for Google's new feature which allows users to change the 'sent time' of an email to lets say, 6 hours ago. Late papers, deadlines; no longer an issue:
April Fools!!! yeah they got me too. I thought it was a little bizarre, but I would never put it past Google to come up with something this sweet.
Photoshop Express, The best--and one of the most expensive--photo editing programs ever has just gone mobile. Thats right, you no longer have to go home to use your bootlegged copy of Photoshop to put your friend's face on someone else's body...you can do it online! Just upload your pictures and edit them. You can even host them from the site using a free account. Pretty Cool. Now that we have hard drives we can carry around on our key chains we don't need them anymore.
The Last Alarm Clock you will ever need, I am a sleepy person...worse than that, it is tough to wake me up. Sometimes my sleep schedule needs to be flexible, but my alarm clock is just so damn rigid...so I shut it off instead of changing the time--and I miss my noon class. crap. But not anymore, this "ninja alarm clock" has seven independent alarms (that means you can shut one off without wiping the rest out) as well as a variable nap alarm (1-120 minutes) and adjustable snooze.
The sky is not falling, this is one nice, positive, well researched, and informative article that floated to the top in a world of negative editorials. 2008 is not the next Great Depression, and technically it is not even a recession. Yes growth has flat-lined, but we have not even had a negative quarter yet and we need TWO before we should start dropping the R word. Also, the economist that wrote this article did a great job outlining why the Euro will probably never eclipse the Dollar on the world stage. Sorry Fox News.
R.E.M is coming to Chicago, so is M.I.A (my favorite female British rapper)...that last one was a link to a video...and so is this: R Kelly, Trapped in a Closet, this R Kelly song came about a long time ago and the video said "to be continued" at the end. I had no idea until this past week that he continued it 22 times!!! I watched them all and it was probably one of the most entertaining 60 minutes that I have had in recent history. Sorry in advance to your employer.
Some things that do:
3rd Graders Plotting Murder, this is insane. Back in the good old days when I was in 3rd grade most of our plots involved "Cooties," not hitting our teacher over the head with a blunt object, handcuffing her, and then ultimately knifing her. I apologize Georgia, but I am forced to file your state under "crazy" until such time that you redeem yourself.
Mayor Daley's Children's Museum Statement, if you have not yet heard, the city of Chicago wants to move the Children's Museum from its current high traffic spot on Navy Pier to the beautiful open span of greenery separating congested Michigan Ave and the tranquil lake front, Grant Park. Not to bring up old news or anything, but back in 1839, when the former Fort Dearborn became part of the townsite, the plat of the area east of Michigan Avenue south of Randolph was marked "Public ground. Forever to remain vacant of buildings." If you can get past the fact that the Mayor sounds like a bumbling idiot you will be able to see that he makes almost no case for overturning the Plan of the City, which has been closely following since its publication 99 years ago, except that he'd rather fight for a 5-year old rather than anything else...and we all know that 5 year olds hate parks...
Oak Lawn criminals follow the commodities market, noting the record high prices of metal, thieves have recently stolen at least 8 manhole covers--weighing in around 125lbs a piece--while it is still unknown where they are turning them in to scrap for cash, this prank is getting costly for taxpayers...but if I were a cop, I would probably check one of these places for a stack of man hole covers. On the flip side--if I were a criminal--I would be stealing catalytic converters, not manhole covers. Converters contain three of the most expensive metals at the moment--platinum at $2,000 an ounce, palladium at $450 an ounce, and rhodium, which sells at just less than $9,000 an ounce. You may need more tools, but it would be much more lucrative. Just a thought, and please don't try it, or tell anyone that I told you to.
Governor Recall, a riding the momentum of Gov. Blago's downward spiral into the abyss of bad statewide decisions, Rep. Jay Hoffman called out "Stop the Bullshit!" championing the bill (that passed) making it conceivable to revote for a replacement governor...i.e. California. I think this is a terrible idea--mostly due to cost--but also because at least with all eyes on Gov. Looks-like-a-chipmunk, he wont do anything else stupid...whereas a replacement might feel the need to make all kinds of changes without thinking them through.
Until Next time,
-Chance Kelch
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