Chance's Weekend Update: 1/18/2009

"In the 1960s, NASA astronauts discovered that their pens did not work in zero gravity. So like good engineers, they went to work and designed a wonder pen. It worked upside down. It worked in vacuum. It worked in zero gravity. It even worked underwater! And it only cost a million dollars!
The crafty Russians used a pencil"

-Urban / Internet Legend , the frugal side of me laughs at this anecdote while the more fun side of me looks the other way whistling...because I own a pen that can write upside down, survive being dropped out of an airplane, and even break the windows out of a car.

I was hoping to use the above quote to kick off some kind of over-processing metaphor to segue into my opposition of the continued economic stimulus packages, but in doing my due diligence on the story I found that it was only a myth (click the link underneath to read the details). The moral shouldn't be overlooked though. Consider this: Something like 97% of a car's power output is used in moving its own weight. Someone figured out that every 100 lbs you eliminate can save between 2-4% in efficiency. Instead of the fairly obvious solution (the pencil) of making really lightweight cars which wouldn't need a huge heavy engine to get it moving, a large transmission to handle to torque of the engine, a 200lb breaking system to slow it down, or a 15-gallon fuel tank, the best automotive accomplishment in recent history has been the hybrid car (the space pen)...that allows us to drag all 2000lbs of the previously mentioned dead weight with us wherever we go...only now in a slightly more efficient way. Anyways...I had to cut out a lot this week's info otherwise it would take you hours to sift through it all, but there is still a ton here, I always seem run into an information overload when I take a weekend off or read magazines on a flight...enjoy:

Some things that don't suck:

Crash Proof Cars, I will file this one under: "I wish I had this last weekend". The 2010 Volvo S60 will be equipted with a collision detection system to warn you of fast approaching objects and if neccesary take full control of your braking system--allowing you to look at your directions and slam into a stopped truck at a stoplight in St louis...

The XO Laptop, The XO is a highly effective learning tool designed and built especially for children in developing countries, living in some of the most remote environments. For starters, it's about the size of a small textbook and made with a rugged plastic exterior. It has built-in wireless and a unique screen that works in full color or black and white to make it readable under direct sunlight. And finally it's ultra-low power using only about 4 watts (most laptops use about 40 watts). This means, when there's no electricity, it can be recharged through alternate power sources like solar power. The company has been working hard over the past 3 years to significantly reduce the price and hence availability, it is a pretty sweet foundation.

BookCrossing, I love books and own a lot of them...which doesnt really make sense because all they do is sit on my shelf. This website has a "read and release" policy where you literally put an ID tag on your book and hide it somewhere. You then register its location on the website and other members can go read it, then release it somewhere else. You can track your book's journey or search for other books to read yourself.

Cheat Sheet, This is a quick way to be "that guy" aka the number one source for all of the current happenings in the world. In a nutshell, the authors of Cheat Sheet put together a short list of your need-to-know news articles for the day. Visit their website when needed or subscribe to their newletter if you have a serious information addiction.

Couchsurfing, this community of free places to sleep is for the truly cheap at heart. Most countries and major cities are represented, become a member yourself and allow strangers to crash in your basement or simple use the free service to save some money on your next adventure. As an experiment, I searched the city I stayed in this past weekend and there were 3 registered couchsurfers...one even had a letter of recommendation.

Blago's lawyers jump ship, After comparing the upcoming impeachment trial to a lynching and citing a lack of preparation time, the governor's head lawyers (a father-son team) decided that it was time to jump ship. Shortly thereafter, Edward Genson, another prominent Chicago lawyer decided to sit this one out--convincing a jury that R Kelly didn't really piss on a 15 year old girl even though there is a video was one thing, but convincing the state that Gov. Chipmunk is innocent is apparently way out of his league.

Girls Gone Wild's CEO Joe Francis and HUSTLER's publisher Larry Flynt ask Congress for bailout, I don't care who you are, this is funny. Clearly they are not expecting the money, or even need it. They are just raising that question that nobody has thought of yet...where does the gravy train line stop? Why do the automakers and bankers get all of this money and the local grocery and retail storefronts are left out to dry? This is classic Flynt, circa 1999.[2]. If you are lost I will refresh your memory--there was a presidential witch trial going on--Clinton being the witch (Bill this time), and all of the congressmen were ready with torches and pitchforks. That is of course until Larry Flynt ran a full page ad in the Washington Post with a hot line number offering up to $1 million for "documentary evidence of illicit sexual relations" with a member of Congress or other high-ranking government official. Several weeks and probably thousands of hours of political commentary later, the 82-page Flynt Report was released.

Some things that do:

The Temperature. (note: I am writing this from Houston, TX where I was just swimming outside earlier tonight...this "-39 degree wind chill in Chicago" is just a rumor I am choosing to pass along)

PackBot, This one is right out of the movies...and its manufacturer is literally iRobot. There are more than 2000 of them being used in the middle east...the scary part is that they have just recently armed them...somebody call Will Smith.

Illegal Taxes from our other super corrupt politician, times are tough for city governments...especially when they have to follow federal laws. Until recently, all Chicago residents with satellite television service were going to be looking at a 9% luxury tax from the city on top of their current bill--mailed and collected separately of course. This creative revenue stream for the city was quickly shot down after lawyers from Direct TV and Dish informed the Mayor Daley that they could not volunteer their subscriber information--thus the tax is unenforceable...

Until Next time,
-Chance Kelch