Chance's Weekend Update: 02/03/2008

"It's kind of fun to do the impossible."

Walt Disney (and the NY Giants)

This past week is one for the record books. North Central College canceled classes on Friday due to heavy snowfall and the library was overwhelmed with students trying to catch up on their studies...
...Well, we did really have a snow day, and that was pretty cool. I even saw Juno--nominated for 4 academy awards!--and that was awesome. Pretty fair deal too: Movie for two + Med. Popcorn + Med. Dr.Pepper + Large Blue Icee = $35...in future news, I think I want to start a movie theater. Also, I apologize for the "late edition" of my weekend update, after slipping around in the snow all week and watching the super bowl all evening I felt more tired and beat up than Tom Brady. Anyways, there were some exciting things that happened in the week that was:

Some things that don't suck:

Shameless Self-Promotion, thats right--the rumors sweeping the nation are true--once I mail my newsletters out, Google automatically posts them to my Chance's Weekend Update blog...where you can leave comments, browse the archives, or even search by topic. While I am on the subject of me, here is an interview that I did recently for our team website, click.

GARMIN!!!, One of my predictions for the 2008 was that the next generation of the iPhone would be loaded with GPS. Instead of rolling over and dying--letting portable GPS units become obsolete--Garmin just unveiled its own phone...with almost all of the features of the iPhone PLUS a sweet GPS system.

Jake and Amir, have branched out from their work at collegehumor.com to start their own comedy website...and it is HILARIOUS. It is kind of like the office, only more awkward. I actually would have mailed this newsletter out earlier if I hadn't spent all morning watching their videos.

McChampions, Nothing...let me repeat that...Nothing is better than a sausage/egg McMuffin in the morning. It took a couple of years, but finally Starbucks got the memo that their breakfast sandwich was terrible and they promptly removed it from their menu. But for all of you coffee enthusiasts out there who need a little breakfast with your 900 calorie machiatto, remember: McDonald's is still everywhere.

A Nude supermodel is apparently more enticing to the Patriots than a Super Bowl Championship...or was it that Gisele was enough of a catalyst for Eli Manning to start playing with some gumption? Either way, I'll be with the rest of the country patiently waiting at Youtube for this to all go down.

Lego may be 50 years old, but unlike Tom Petty (58)--they still rock. Recently I have been spending a lot of time looking at cool Lego Art on the internet, mostly because it is awesome, but also because the last major Lego project that I worked on was a green dinosaur that I never finished--and that left a bad taste in my mouth. My dad even stepped in and worked on one of the legs, the thing was just too big and too damn boring for an 8 year old to stay focused on. But now that I am 22, I have had to endure much more boring crap than a Lego dinosaur...so I think I am ready for my next challenge...

Fedex Commercial, This was definitely my favorite super bowl commercial...honorable mentions include: The Budweiser Clydesdale one, and the Will Ferrell line about how much sweat goes into each bottle beer "but not literally because that would be gross"

Some things that do:

Getting hit by a satellite, I don't know how I missed this one, but I sure hope it misses me. After morning run at breakfast I was told that there is a satellite careening towards Earth and it is probably going to make it through the atmosphere and there is a decent enough chance that it will hit land. On top of that--this is no Sputnik--the thing is huge, so heads up.

Branding yourself, I have had some bad ideas, but touching a red hot piece of iron to flesh has never come to mind. If you do not have time to watch the video...it is amazing how quickly that thing welted up and got nasty, haha. Do not try this at home, or anywhere really.

We're Rich, apparently having a net worth of $2,200 makes your more wealthy than 50% of the world, sweet...wait, crap...I think student loans might pull me into the bottom half of the planet (I just moved this down to "things that suck"). Oh well, here is another depressing stat: "The three richest people in the world –- Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates, investor Warren Buffett and Mexican telecom mogul Carlos Slim Helú -- have more money than the poorest 48 nations combined."

Last week I let you all know how I feel about January, but so far February isn't looking much better. But to help beat the elements, check these handy gadgets out. The Wallet Scraper, is about the size of a credit card and is perfect in case you are running late for your "double secret sorority meeting" and need to get that ice off the window. The next one is obviously straight from Japan: The Snow Eater, is a robot that looks like a Pokemon and literally eats snow, compacts it, and "poops" out huge blocks of ice that it stacks on its back.

Pot Machine, We all remember the good ole days when you could drop a quarter into the Marlboro machine and get a pack when we felt that nicotine itch--wait actually 90% of the people who read this were hardly out of the crib when cigarette vending machines were made illegal, so we don't remember. To refresh everyone's memory though, California--the state of bright ideas like celebrities in Government and Scientology--has allowed vending machines to ease the distribution of "medical marijuana". Genius.

Craigslist used to be a safe haven for stupid lonely people...but not anymore, apparently you can't place adds for a hitman
or a Super bowl Prostitute, without the police getting involved. With "Big Brother" on our backs, how are we ever supposed to get anyone killed or have fun? What is the internet coming to?


Until Next time,
-Chance Kelch